Hey everyone; I’m Jess, a writer (it’s just a hobby), and a friend of Oyinlola. I love food (just had to say that! lol), and I enjoy sharing my experiences, thoughts, and opinions with others. This is my first blog entry, and honestly, I’m nervous and excited (insert “lady in the red dress emoji”). Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy reading this.
What’s in your mental script?
You might ask yourself, “what is a mental script?,” or you may be wondering, “What is my mental script?.”
Your mental script is what you say about yourself when you talk to yourself.
It is what defines your evaluation of your own capabilities and worth.
It is how you view yourself, and what you think about yourself.
Your mental script has been developing since the day you were born. Your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, teachers, classmates, colleagues, and acquaintance have influenced the content of your mental script.
For instance, your parents may have made hurtful comments that led you to believe that you weren’t cute enough; you weren’t good enough; you didn’t deserve love and attention; or that you were more of a curse than a blessing, and these comments shaped how you view yourself. Your teacher might have made comments that caused you to accept that you weren’t smart enough, you were never going to be good at certain subjects/courses, and they shaped what you think of your intellect and capabilities.
Overall, your experiences with these people determined, and still determines the content of your mental script which causes you to have certain thoughts that you consider true. Your mental script is important because what you believe about yourself dictates how you feel about yourself, and how you feel controls your daily actions; and your actions add up overtime, and determine your level of accomplishment in key areas of your life.
So what’s in your mental script, and how has that shaped your life? (Pause and think on this).
I grew up in an abusive home, and the actions of those around me led me to believe that I was not deserving of love. This became a major content of my mental script. For the longest time, I questioned any outward show of love towards me, and doubted genuine acts of care. “I can never be loved” was a thought that shaped how I saw myself, and how I felt other people saw me. I had a difficult time maintaining relationships with other people. But all of that changed when I realized that the thought was a lie. Now this realization didn’t happen overnight, it happened over the last weekend in February. I attended the Every Nation Campus Student Conference in Chantilly Virginia, and it completely changed me. There I found a truth that replaced the lies in my life. There I realized that I was lovable because I was loved by God. And for me, the conference was a statement of love. A love that is continuously influencing every content in my mental script.
When it comes to realizing the thoughts that are lies, I don’t expect you to have the same experience that I did, (honestly, I’d be ecstatic if y’all all did! lol) but I do expect you to be willing to embrace the truth. Once you come to the realization that you are beautiful/handsome, that you are good enough, that you are smart, that you can pass that difficult class, et cetera, and you embrace them, you must work on making the truths a part of your mental script by believing them.
Here are some things you can do to make your truths part of your mental script.
Don’t give your brain mixed signals. Don’t think you’re pretty today, and then think you’re ugly when you come across a nice picture on Instagram tomorrow. You must consistently tell yourself your truth(s). Make it your mantra.
It takes awhile for changes to happen, and waiting can be frustrating. But you must be patient. You must give your mind time to register, accept, and believe the truth.
Surround Yourself with Positive Friends
If you believe the lie that “you are a failure,” don’t call that friend that’s always reminding you of how poorly you did on the last math quiz. Surround yourself with friends who understand your situation and can provide positive feedback.
No matter how discouraging the journey might be, keep going. That lie might pop up once in awhile, but don’t let it stop you from believing the truth.
Now is the time to filter the contents of your mental script through the sieve of truth, discover those truths, and work on believing them.
Like, comment, and share your thoughts on mental scripts.