This one’s a good one, keep reading….
We have been thought all our lives to endure being single. We believe that we are merely existing, and one day when we find our partners (future spouse/ perfect match/soulmate), we’ll suddenly become over joyous, reach ultimate fulfilment and have everything fall into place. We learn this from the movies we watch, books we read, our parents, and society as a whole. Since we’ve been fed this from childhood, it is normal that we internalize these ideas, and believe them. Be honest with yourself, you thought this way, I know I did. Each one of us longs, waits, and fantasizes about that special someone who will come and magically sweep us off our feet.
There is nothing wrong with the desire for an intimate relationship with someone, and ultimately marriage. In fact, we are to desire good things. The problem occurs when our good desires are perversed, and there’s no one to blame but Satan for that. The devil has twisted our good desires to get married into God things (meaning we place our desire in the place of God, thereby idolising it). That’s right Satan, we know your tricks now, and you’re going to have to do better than that. Our ultimate purpose on earth is not to be in a relationship, it is to fulfill the purpose we are created for, which is to glorify God (in all we do).
Personally, I desire a fulfilling marriage when the time is right, and I know you do too. However, I know there are stages to life. I understand that I came into this world single, and I am ought to be single for a period. I am to be single until the time God deems right of me for marriage, because he knows best. The same way there’s a period we go to school, start our careers, grow up, is the same way we’ll find our way into relationships/marriages at the right time. As the bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, there is a season for everything.
People, we are all meant to be single! We are not meant to merely exist until the one that complete us comes around. We are made complete by our creator, who makes all things good. I’ll repeat that, you are good just the way you are! I understand that it is not easy to come to this conclusion. As I mentioned earlier, we’ve been taught all our lives to believe that we are incomplete until we find our perfect match. I also believe that we can break free from what we’ve learnt.
I was walking on a random day, when I was reminded by God of how much my mind has been renewed. I realized that by knowing more about the one who created me, and myself, I had begun internalizing the truth that I am made whole and complete. His words about seasons had begun to make sense to me, without realizing it. I had started to trust God to know that he is a good father, who will grant me the desires of my heart at the right time (He’s the only one who knows when the right time is).
You can come to this realisation too. I know there are lots of quotes and books written about embracing singleness, loving yourself, and all that good stuff. While that’s great, it is easy to get encouraged in the moment, yet lose the feeling of satisfaction the next minute. However, if God’s word and understanding of yourself as his beautiful creation, are the ground you stand on, when it comes to your singleness, you will find ultimate satisfaction and assurance. Though your feelings might sway sometimes, you will be completely rooted in God’s truth, and that truth will override your emotions about hating singleness.
One of the best passages I’ve read about Singleness is in 1st Corinthians. It was when Paul mentioned Singleness as a Spiritual gift, as well as marriage. God has a purpose for both for the fulfillment of his mission. Read 1 Corinthians 7 to learn more about the purpose of your singleness. Remember, Singleness does not mean you are not whole, because you’ve been complete since the day you were born. God does not produce unfinished business.
I’m sharing this because this topic of singleness is one we deal with. Way too many people think there’s something wrong with them because they’re single. It’s sad because this means that we don’t know or we refuse to believe God’s truth concerning our lives. He has a plan for your singleness (again, you were born single for a reason), and future marriage.
I hope you are encouraged with this post. Stop thinking you are weird, unlovable or meant to be alone forever. You are perfectly imperfect! At the right time, you will get married because it is God’s will that you multiply and fill the earth, Genesis 1:28. For now, if you’re single, be joyful and purposeful in it (inserts picture blow).
If you want to know more about Singleness and Relationships, there’s an amazing Relationship 101 series by Pastor Mike Todd that I shared in a post. You should watch the episode I shared, it’s a great one. Then proceed to watch the whole series on Youtube, and be greatly encouraged.
Lastly, share some things you have learnt thus far about singleness that I didn’t share. If there was anything I mentioned that resonated with you, I’ll like to hear. Thank you for reading this!